A hero needs a “god”
Written on January 3, 2009 – 11:24 pm | by carsytoosh
Or just a fellow hero…That’s what i think. That’s what i need.
Because the holidays made me realize that probably he is weaker than me. and i can not stand to hurt him. but i think there is no other way because i honestly have done everything possible to tell him of my real, honest (making this word overrated) feelings. However also actions have proven that i can be the most evil person i can know. and that regardless the fact that all i know now that i am like an open wound. hurting inside and healing at no near future. just hoping that my laughter and smile and distance can put the other part of my life at a better situation. away from me. and though this plan, may it be considered ill-intended or stubborn, creates a simultaneous sequence of pain and relief. ha! very irrational and contradicting yet my only way to show that ignoring, “understanding” what he is does not help him. i need help. yes i pretty much do. JC gives me more time is enough support, perhaps. if the devil is also at my side i dont know what to say. i need someone. to hold me in place. to assure me that i am not the bad person. just a person trying to prove that maybe this stubborness or even evilness (whatever term that would make him contented) is my only way.
ha–im on the ground. i need to stand up. hlp me?
