Casanova Girl

nagpatiwakal (ako?!)

Written on October 6, 2008 – 5:57 am | by carsytoosh

haha, this was the only thing i kept on replying to people who were asking where i was this morning. its because during that time i was still far from half of the target 5 to 6 page-paper. ack! struggle amf. i knoooow, it was given to us a long time ago and i know that i lacked in preparing for it and did not act upon it earlier.

and now i know how it is to cram!!! do you know how frustrating it is to cram? especially when all you want to happen is to finish whatever it is you want to accomplish. (for me it was my final paper in political thought. one of my majors by the way.) bad thing is you dont get to proof read it a couple of times more for any errors with the structure and grammar mistakes. hmm well i cant do nothing about it now, could i? but i have done everything that i could have done during the past few days. sigh-k (syk). i read the articles in advance. but siguro it was just not enough. probably i did not concentrate with what the articles were telling me. hah!

enough.

i did my self-pity for almost 5 hours last night!!! and all i wanted to do is make any valid reason not to pass it today (pathetic, haha). i even wanted to go home (sissy haha), because i know that dad is the only person who would understand me and would do anything to make me calm (but a tight hug from him would suffice and cheer me up. but i couldnt go home last night because i wouldnt want to worry them by calling them at 2 in the morning). i tried every way just to relax my head. i tried sleeping but i couldn’t even close my eyes. sleeping was not an option especially when my plan of staying at noelle’s apartment is to keep myself awake. i was up all night, alright! but i was staring blank on the screen (i was prolly wishing that if i stared at it longer, the blinking line would write on its own, haha. i wonder what the line would say about david hume?!).

i hate the feeling! never again will i cram and forget to do an outline. i mean there is no way you can actually formulate an outline without thoroughly knowing what is your purpose of writing the paper and what are the thinker’s philosophies slash ideas, and not until you calm your head from fears. hah. dont copy my baddest-est habbit.. and that is filling your head with fear and unnesecary questions and doubts. tsk. stress!

hehe.

im just thankful that it is all over now. yup *lucky me* i was able to pass it today, 1 hour before the last hour of our class (that was around 6 in the evening) xp or is it with anthony right now, who was or is still waiting in front of the faculty room.

**i lift everythign to you God. you know i really tried my best. without you i could have given up altogother! hmm. HAVE A FULFILLING AND SUCCESSFUL WEEK AHEAD OF YOU KIDS HUG.